60 Comments
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Janet Demiray's avatar

Wonderful! But as rich and cultured Americans have known since the age of the Grand Tour, nobody who is anybody summers in southern Europe. That’s where you winter and I will attest to lovely g greens in Sicily in early spring.

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TrentonUK's avatar

Shhhh. Don´t tell them!

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Based in Paris's avatar

This is non fiction, btw.

Europe Girl Summer is hell. Hell, like Satan’s Super Sweet 16 hell.

My husband and I went to the seaside in the southwest of France summer. There was a heat wave that was so bad that restaurants had to slow down their service because it was dangerous for the cooks.

I couldn’t sleep and was covered in bug bites

(they don’t have screens on their windows ).

And because it was so hot, it was unwise to turn on the oven or stove so we ate cheese sandwiches and cold salads for a week. I had a horrible stomachache.

Now is where the comment section someone tells me I’m an entitled American and stupid. My husband is French. Born and raised in Paris. We know the deal.

I am praying that we go to St. Louis for vacation this summer.

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

St Louis is about to be 🔥

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Windy O’Connor's avatar

😂😂😂😂

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Anastasia Buruian's avatar

I live in St Louis and my sister and brother live in Paris. They think Saint Louis is no fun. Can’t wait to show them the real Saint Louis, not some French superstitions😁

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Based in Paris's avatar

Report back! Botanic Gardens, Grants Farm, Ted Drewes...so much to do. The Gateway to the West :)

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Campbell Ruggles's avatar

This is absolutely hilarious, thank you Quinn

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Dave's avatar

Brilliant! Unreality lifestyles of social media wannabes.

As American tourists we make an effort to blend in, converse with locals & remind ourselves that we our the grateful guest. While exploring sites & neighborhoods not on the social media ‘to do list’ we are delighted when asked for directions from a local.

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Boucrih's avatar

On some "french" Substack we have repeatedly heavy discussions about Olive Gardens:

https://substack.com/@basedinparis/note/c-126694571

But they don't really know how good Olive Gardens is, when you have an Olive Gardens 5min from your farm in rural Iowa. We don't have to travel to Italy to have a salad (without AC). In Europe they don't even know Ranch Dressing!

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Ranch dressing is America’s finest export

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TrentonUK's avatar

Very funny indeed well done. Living as I do in a mediterranean city we know the type all too well. They seem strangely incapable of using their senses, or their limbs, to seek out and discover places, experiences. The reliance on reddit, FB or Insta for everything is truly bewildering to me. Have they never tried wandering around and seeing what they can find?

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Lindsay's avatar

No notes this is INCREDIBLE

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hillzalive's avatar

11/10!

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Thank you for reading!

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hillzalive's avatar

Thank you for writing!

Chef’s non-leafy green kiss 💋

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Appreciate the kind words :)

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omenapt's avatar

"...about to be priced out of Nashville... " , Ha,ha I picked up on that..."Kansas City, here I come!"

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Cleveland ftw

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omenapt's avatar

I was born there!

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Eliza's avatar

This was absolutely hilarious!!

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Alex Audette's avatar
Cherry Loom's avatar

Funny and accurate!

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Thank you :)

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Michael Logan's avatar

Delightful, thank you.

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Céline sans racines's avatar

Pas d’exagérations détectées

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

Merci pour le rire

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Céline sans racines's avatar

Mort de rire quasi non stop

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jpg's avatar

Reading this while about to take off from Amsterdam after 11 days in the area. Please, please, please, if you can't operate that shower or figure out what local eating/food options are, stay at home in the US, the rest of us US citizens in Europe don't want you spoiling out grand European travels.

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Gabbie's avatar

i subscribed because I also want to kill alessandra

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Nick Bowles's avatar

Very funny, I salute your wit and knowledge of the migratory horde, I’d like to throw a Birkenstock at them all.

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Quinn Larrabee's avatar

I cringe to report, Nick, that I was among the migratory horde the past two weeks, and I one hundred percent replaced my Birkenstocks at La Bon Marche in Paris, because VAT refund. Thank you for reading and for the kind words.

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Nick Bowles's avatar

Love it! Enjoy the Hamptons for the rest of the summer.

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